Not-enough-ness

Have you ever had feelings of not-enough-ness? A time when you’ve felt you weren’t enough? I know I have!

I know I have!

You know the feeling: I’m not ______ enough (thin, shapely, pretty, successful, etc.). Fill in the blank.

Where do those feelings of not-enough-ness come up for you?

  • Finances
  • Family
  • Body
  • Fitness
  • Business
  • Friendships
  • Relationships

Our feelings of “enoughness” occur because of our thoughts. It happens to all of us. In fact, it’s our thoughts, conscious or unconscious that drive our feelings. Often well before we’re even aware of them.

Whether you’re consciously aware of the thoughts or they’re a product of your unconscious mind, when you are feeling things such as scarcity, lack, pressure, stress, or frustration, it’s because of what you’ve been thinking.

Negative thought patterns develop over time as do the limiting beliefs we create for ourselves. What’s a limiting belief? It’s a belief (fear) that you can’t do something or aren’t enough of something to succeed. Everyone has them!!

They become the dominant voice screaming in our minds just because we aren’t in practice of seeking the positive reframe. Without awareness, those thoughts result in our creation of limiting beliefs. You may better recognize them as; self-doubt, shame, guilt, self-worth, lack of confidence, and self-esteem (non-enough-ness).

So with me, an important fact I’ve noticed when I’m in the feels of not-enough-ness; I’m feeling sorry for myself. A “poor me” syndrome, if you will.

  • Will I know enough?
  • Be good enough?
  • Right enough?

Yup, I’m human. 

It’s a BS story I’ve created for myself. The truth is, when I’m playing into these feelings, I’m either focusing on the past or worrying about some invisible, undefined goal of enough-ness in my unknown future.

It’s a drama my ego loops on replay to keep me safe and the thing is, I’m playing small.

I’m shrinking from the fear of the unknown.

In these instances, I’ve forgotten the appreciation, fulfillment, and gratitude of focusing on the present moment. Simply put, I’ve stepped away from an appreciation for how far I’ve come in my journey and where I’m at now.

I’ll find myself looking for other’s approval or wanting to know if I’ve done something “right.”

It’s a perfectionistic tendency that stems from feelings of not being enough. Beliefs I created for myself at a young age.  Crazy right?

As an example: I loved dancing. Dance class, performances, being on stage, but somewhere along my journey, I placed my self-worth in what others thought of me.

I desperately sought approval in the same place I thought I discovered myself.

Auditions led to “Tell me how great I am by casting me in your show.” Followed by, “I can change my appearance to be whatever you need me to be.” The interpretation? Being myself was never good enough. A limiting belief I created for myself.

I thought I needed to be thinner, taller, different hair, nose shape; you name it!! The cycle began: the endless search for what would make me enough.

In later years,  “tell me what you think of me or “how I could do it better,” “it” became a fill in the blank. First, it showed up in dance, and then later in many other things in my life.

I learned to judge myself far worse than anyone else could judge me.

Until recently, I had never made the connection and a fear of being seen heard and understood developed over time.

The judgment, the fear of not knowing, not being smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough, liked enough became a  pattern that developed. Self-love was not a possibility. I had too much anger at myself as well as frustration, self-loathing, anxiety. These feelings became my routine.

Even though I developed confidence in myself, I still had an issue with self-esteem. I reached for perfection that didn’t exist. A skewed perception.

I didn’t know tools existed that could allow me to change my perception until I was in my 30’s. As I’ve done the work to change my opinion of myself, I’ve identified so many other limiting beliefs that have held me back in life.

As I’d conquer one area; family, relationships, finances, another area would present itself in friendship, business, or body image.

It was time to face all of those beliefs head-on. It was no longer about what life did to me or didn’t do for me. How someone treated me or didn’t meet my expectation.

It was about me. I no longer desired to play the victim. When I realized I was the source of my lack and pain, it was an eye-opening experience for sure! The problem began with me!!!! Ouch!

The good news, though, is that I could become the change I wanted to see in my world.

I’m currently in the trenches diving even deeper into my work. I found a coaching program to help me get there. I’m experiencing more change than I could have ever imagined and I would not have gotten here on my own.

That’s the great thing about life coaching. Someone else can hold your vision for you and see in you what you have yet to discover. We are not alone in our quest. There’s always someone else a step ahead of you to help you.

The beautiful thing is that learning is everywhere!!

When it comes to personal growth, we can always uplevel, expand, learn and grow. It ‘s like an analogy my friend Maru told me once, when it comes to learning about ourselves, we’re like the tip of a mountaintop so high in the sky we’re unable to reach it. There’s always more to learn.

Perspective creates the change we’re seeking. It’s a conversation, an awareness, within ourselves for an instant shift in our thoughts.

Simple huh?!

Of course not!

Why? Because most of us go through life not wanting to take a more in-depth look at why we feel the way we feel or how we think.

It’s never easy to peel back layers and get to the core of who you are. It’s not a quick process. It requires spending time tapping into the vulnerabilities, limiting beliefs, values, head talk, memories, decisions, perceptions, drivers, and identities (masks) we’ve created along the way.

It can be uncomfortable as uncovering them one by one. BUT, it’s also exciting to see past repeating patterns dissolve and the real you emerge. It’s a journey well worth the effort!

The other side of this discovery is freedom. Freedom to be our true selves with the ability to acknowledge and ascertain which thoughts are truthful and when to call BS on unproductive thinking.

What has changed for me?

  • E V E R Y T H I N G.

My self-love, self-talk, self-esteem, deserving, confidence, marriage, relationships with family and friends, happiness, career, and income.

The human brain is powerful!!  Our brain takes the external events of our lives and groups, lumps, classifies, and categorizes everything all of the time. It’s brilliant in the way it learns, processes, filters, deletes, and distorts our sensory information. All of this on an unconscious level.

We have the ability to take all of our misbeliefs and untruths and re-wire our thinking. We truly can do anything we set our minds too.

Do we have to believe the reframing thoughts of “of course we can do it” or “I am enough” right away? No! But we are what we think. Maybe you have heard a similar quote or two in your lifetime?

It’s true! The more we focus on what’s true and not create drama in our minds, the more it becomes our new truth. When we keep repeating the process and working deeper to uncover where the limiting beliefs once began, we no longer give power to the stories we create.

The more we believe, the more we are able to create lasting change!

You can do a lot more than you ever thought possible. Sometimes you just need someone to show you the way. That’s why I do what I do. I love showing people a new way of thinking to improve their lives!

I’m fascinated with the power of mindset and helping others reach goals. Because I’ve done so much work on myself and witnessed the results, I have a desire to teach others to do the same. Especially in the area of health and wellness!!

As I continue to learn, grow and expand my thoughts, beliefs, values, and drivers,  I’m still a work in progress, and that’s okay! We all are. I know I am enough, just being me!

I spend much more time reflecting and acknowledging how far I’ve come instead of tearing myself down. I’ve learned to recognize the patterns in my thinking and yes, a new version of those same patterns still show up in a new form now and again.

Life’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. There is no perfection, just observation.

It’s a much better feeling being able to reframe my thoughts and not fall victim to spending weeks on end in a loop of dread.

I’m not the same woman as I was 20 years, ten years, one year or even six months ago because I process everything differently now. I’m grateful for my successes as well as my errors because they’re all lessons

This is the power of neuro transformation.

So I encourage you when you’ve had enough of feeling not-enough-ness to take a look within and:

  • Let someone see the real you.
  • Take off your masks.
  • Commit to doing the work
  • Appreciate your efforts.
  • Be real

Lasting transformation begins with our mindset and NOW is the time to choose YOU!

Where do you want to begin to create change for yourself?

How can I help you get started?

 

Do You Love Yourself?

The truth is, I haven’t always loved myself. If I’m being honest, it was quite the opposite. It’s vulnerable saying those words out loud.

I’ve been working on this blog topic since March 2017.  Little by little I’d add, edit, delete, save. It never seemed “right” or “complete.” Last week, I began writing. I wrote and wrote about my past,  my present, and all the correlations discovered.

Every time I went back to edit, I had more to say. Memories surfaced, thoughts flowed, and observations connected.

I ended up with near 4000 words. It was no longer just a post, it was the making of my next book!

When I began to uncover what my father used to label “our dirty laundry” my eyes opened to the connections in my current life. Vulnerable topics I’d been avoiding out of perceived shame or fear of what others may think became the exact things I needed to share: a part of my past,  my determination,  drive, who I am now, the reason for my choices in life – my learning in everything.

I believe that by sharing our stories, our unique and different circumstances can help others. Our stories can be what someone needs to hear at that moment to offer hope, courage, and let them know they’re not alone.

Allow me to share a part of my story.

Decades of stress, lack of sleep, skipping meals, over-caffeinating, and overtraining in the gym caught up with me six years ago. The one question I never asked myself, nor quite honestly, cared to consider was, at what risk were these habits to my health later in life?

I found myself faced with adrenal fatigue, elevated cortisol, blood sugar imbalance, insulin resistance, and low thyroid.  I found this diagnosis through a  myriad of menopause symptoms that began in my early 40’s: hot flashes, night sweats, broken sleep, hair loss, weight gain, and fatigue.

Looking back now, it had begun earlier, but I ignored it, much like a healthy relationship with myself.

Developing an unhealthy relationship with food as a teenager, Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia became a way of life in my teens. It provided a false sense of control in a world that quickly felt out of control as my mother’s health diminished to multiple sclerosis. It took years of work on myself to become healthy again; not just physically, but mentally.

But even now, decades later, I have moments when I catch myself reviving old beliefs and thought patterns from the body dysmorphia that never really left. Awareness of my emotional correlations and negative thought patterns in body shaming and body image began to reveal themselves these past years.

For most of my life, I convinced myself my figure was much larger than it was when I looked in the mirror. When I experienced my unexplained hormonal weight gain, I realized I still couldn’t see the truth, and I was staring worthiness and body shaming in the face. It seemed as long as I maintained my body at my desired weight/pant size through years past, the internal screaming quieted. Was it perfectionism or pride? Shame or disgust that created my new perception of self?

I promised myself long ago that I’d never go back down the rabbit hole of my unhealthy teenage habits. A promise to myself to never go back to starving, purging, or exercising for hours on end. I kept that promise. But I could feel the panic setting in with a desperate urge to quick fix my weight gain. It was frightening, unwelcome and wasn’t going to happen. I needed a better solution.

I vowed to make peace with my body and find a better way to take the best care of myself; living beyond obsessive thoughts and enjoying life at a healthy weight. My self-worth couldn’t have been all summed up in body image, could it?

As hard as it was to face that truth, it was great observing on my part. Becoming aware of the pattern, I could choose differently for myself.

It was up to me to become the change I desired. Nobody was going to create that change for me or give me a magic cure to make it all go away. I’d fallen into a pattern of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and lack of self-worth in the past and I became comfortable beating myself up.

I placed my worth on my pant size, the number on the scale, how I looked in the mirror.  My mind conditioned itself to the negative banter. It was the preferred language I fed myself and sadly, it became my truth. It needed to stop.

I had a decision to make: to continue down the dark path or grow. Choice by choice, decision by decision, I dove deeper into my anxieties, limiting beliefs and body shaming.  I started practicing re-aligning my thoughts. I became aware of reframing negative thoughts to a more loving, compassionate thought process about my body, myself, everything around me.

Positive thinking about my body felt foreign. The words felt fake and recognizing the thousands of times my mind drifted toward negativity became overwhelming. I’ve had many failures and successes throughout this process, especially when it came to my thoughts! My inner critic voice was a constant loop in my mind.

Other questions arose:

  • When did I begin to believe all the untruths and negative chatter?
  • At what point in my life did I allow it to take over the majority of the thoughts running through my mind?
  • How many years have I subconsciously and consciously calculated the food going into my mouth or the amount of time I spent exercising.
  • Why was it so easy to ignore the real truth about my body: it was strong, beautiful and capable?

I began replacing desperate thoughts of needing to be thin and reaching an unrealistic body shape with fitness and strength goals. Developing my strength and conditioning in the gym, I also expanded my nutrition philosophy toward eating real food and enough of it. Knowledge is power.

My focus changed; my outlook on life changed. I realized a strength within myself that propelled me forward and helped me recognize I was capable.

Through this process, I began discovering and BELIEVING my worth for the first time in my life. I found love and appreciation for my body for its beauty, power, strength, shape, and ability. Real truth.

Replacing words like “fat” with “fit” and “hate” with “love,” I began to see myself differently. It became easier to accept the positive self-talk toward myself.  New images, new thoughts, new self-talk to re-condition my brain. Witnessing change encouraged me to press forward year after year because my body was something I could be proud of, instead of ashamed.

I fell in love with personal development and setting new goals for myself: reading, studying,  and absorbing whatever I could to better myself – my outlook on life. I realized the power of the mind.

I’ve dedicated the past six years to learn how to correct my health. Learning how hormones, food, rest and exercise impact my healing, my mindset and the ability to bring balance back to my body. Health has been my goal, not weight.

New respect for the human body developed for its ability to heal.  I implemented healthy habits that nourished and cared for my body. The right amount of exercise, more sleep, foods that heal, and a calmer, peaceful mindset, all provided clarity and an ability to look beyond my weight and pant size.

I gained respect for myself and my ability to trust my intuition when it came to caring for myself. I learned to listen to the signals my body was sending. The answers it would provide when I tuned in and trusted it.

I’m not damaged, broken or even desperate because of my hormonal weight gain as I would’ve believed in the past. I’m human.

Many women (and even men) live in this kind of silent suffering. It’s important to know they’re not alone. Our bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and they are all beautiful!! My body could be it’s strong, curvy, long torso self and it was beautiful and okay to be different. We have the power to feel beautiful in our skin because we choose too.

Changing a negative mindset doesn’t resolve itself in a day, week, month, a year, or ten years. It’s an awareness and a willingness to change. Conscious practice of observing and searching for new evidence that loving myself is okay.  I began by calling myself beautiful, even when I didn’t believe it. I “faked it untilI made it”, and you know what?  A transformation began to occur.

I’ve experienced good days and challenging days along the way, but I can now reassess instead of dropping in defeat. I search the drama I’m telling myself for any truth. Is it true? Productive? Or might there be a better truth? When I look in the mirror, I focus on the things I like about myself and stop myself from criticizing what I don’t. It helps me see a more authentic reflection.

Transforming thoughts into real, substantial, confident, kind, compassionate self-talk and NOT believing the bullshit that flows in and out is a daily exercise for the brain.

We decide what fills our mind. Will it be empowering or defeating? 

I prefer the confident, fit, comfortable, authentic version of myself but I’m a work in progress. I’m not willing to accept aging as an excuse to give up on my health goals but rather to learn as much as I can to help not only myself in the future but other women as well. The beauty is in all the learning and tools I have to be able to provide for my daughters’ stability through their body changes as young women.

Pema Chodron once said, “Nothing ever leaves us, until it’s taught us what we need to learn.”

Once I changed my focus and looked beyond the weight gain, I began to notice a permanent change in my mindset and body. The self-loathing softened. I recognized the message coming through and faced it head-on this time.

It’s produced an appreciation for who I am and acceptance for where I’m now. I’m responsible for becoming my best cheerleader. I trust in my inner voice instead of believing my worst inner mean girl.

You know – that inner voice. The gentle voice that is often directing us to what we need. More sleep, less caffeine, healthy food. The sound we often dismiss because we think we know better or don’t want to listen.

I’ve learned the importance of acknowledging each success as well as each failure with an attitude of learning, not shame. No longer beat myself up when my body doesn’t comply. I research what works best for my body, what doesn’t and make a change. I tune into what my body’s whispering.

Becoming an advocate for my health and focusing on my strength in the gym, has helped me repair my adrenal health and improve my hormone balances. It’s taken years of consistency and patience to see progress. My head is clearer than I’ve known but more importantly – I FEEL terrific!

It’s been a lesson for me in acceptance. Accepting all the things my body is instead of all things I convinced myself it wasn’t. A change in the way I see myself.

Life’s not perfect. I’m not perfect nor do I expect myself to be any longer. I only desire to be the healthiest version of myself these days. I have much more compassion in myself and less judgment. I’m no longer at war with my body, I embrace it.

It’s refreshing, trust me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This journey has led me to look inside myself more deeply and honestly than I ever have. In return, I’ve received priceless gifts of re-discovering my self-worth, confidence, and beauty I once believed wasn’t mine to own.

Do you have a similar story? Perhaps my story has resonated with you?

Please reach out. I’d love to hear about it!!

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If you’re interested in learning basic lifestyle changes you can implement into your life toward better health, click here to learn how I can help you.

 

 

Do You Invest In Yourself?

Have you ever invested in yourself?

  • A trip to the salon perhaps?
  • Spa?
  • Massage?
  • Exercise and nutrition program?
  • Personal Trainer?
  • Self-study course?

How did you feel afterward? Would you do it again? Was it worth every penny?

I know when I invest in any of those things, I feel rejuvenated and inspired to repeat the action. Sometimes tho, those expenses can add up. How do I justify it?

There are many expenses in life: rent or mortgage, car loans, healthcare, food, activities. Necessities-right? We quickly learn to prioritize these expenses by their value of importance.

Why is it then, that we often discount the importance of investing in ourselves? Our self-care? I believe in the importance of spending money on ourselves for personal growth; Body * Mind * Soul * Spirit. So much so, that I have a savings “bucket” set aside for such investments! I invest the money I earn as a personal trainer into this bucket and spend it on myself. I receive value from working with people on improving their health and I keep that positive energy flowing into a personal investment. Paying it forward, if you will.

It’s not always easy to set extra income aside toward my goal, but I find if it’s important to me, I’ll find a way to make it happen. I don’t consider spending money on myself as a selfish act because it nourishes me so I can be at my best for my children, husband, and life’s unpredictable events.

I enjoy seeing the progress clients make when they decide to take action in their lives. As a strength & conditioning coach, the task of coaching is to help my clients be consistent in showing up, suggest healthy habits to accompany their training, teach safe movement, provide encouragement, and create the foundation for results. Much like any other type of coaching program.

Last Summer, I decided to invest in myself! I invested in self-study courses, certification, and my first experience with a writing coach. I did exactly what I’m asking of my clients, a living example.

Admittedly, when I hired my first coach, I didn’t know what to expect. I’m a driven person, so I couldn’t wrap my head around where the guidance would serve me. Then, it dawned on me: the purpose of a hiring a coach is gaining a helping hand in keeping me on track to meet my goals. Someone to help me stop spinning my wheels! It was the BEST investment I’ve ever made.

In one short year, (while still running our two businesses) I educated myself in self-publishing and wrote and published my first book!

Next, I hired a business coach. In one month, I enhanced my blog into a full blown business website and expanded on the opportunities my published book has provided me. We’ve worked together to align my messaging, branding, social media marketing and coaching packages. Excitingly, I’m now able to bring to you my online mind/body accountability coaching feature!!

Once again, my coach provides encouragement and guidance, while helping me push through any mental blocks that want to stop my progress. Overwhelming feelings come easy when working toward a goal with a full plate. She helps me organize weekly tasks that keep me moving forward with inspired action. Having someone by my side to hold my vision for me and break down actionable steps each week is helpful when I’m unable to see that vision.

I stay on task even with my current obligations and watch the progress add up. More importantly, I don’t waste energy spinning my wheels or filling my mind with worry. I keep moving forward and have a lot more fun doing so!

Each time I move a step closer to my end goal, my creativity begins to flow and confidence builds. By having a system of accountability, I work each week through my resistance, shrinking and especially my ego! (Ego: the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious. It’s responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity).

Man oh man does my ego want to stop me from exceeding and expanding! The lessons of moving past the ego are invaluable to becoming self-aware of our mental blocks. The ability to push through in spite of them builds confidence and belief in the potential to succeed in life. My ego works hard to keep me in a comfortable space and loves to tell me how much easier it would be just to quit. Especially the more I grow and step through the fear. That silly ego wants to interfere and derail my progress along the way. Yup, even coaches need a helping hand from time to time! We just aren’t meant to go through life’s challenges alone. The magic happens when we’re honest and vulnerable!

As I look back over this past year, I recognize I’m continuing to receive a return on my investment; my expansion! A further belief in my abilities and what I’m capable of. Results have come from taking action and moving forward. Each action step inspires me to take another, oftentimes bigger step. I couldn’t have accomplished this on my own. I’m grateful for my moment of self-compassion which allowed myself to seek the help I needed to succeed. It’s been the key to making such massive change in my life and has made me a better version of myself. Priceless!

I wake up excited to see what each day brings. I’m eager for what opportunity may present itself today due to the action I’m taking toward my end goal. It’s an amazing experience to be open to the abundance that follows when I’m open to receiving it. Learning to trust and take a chance leads to more inspired action on my part. I’m proud for NOT letting the fear, negativity, and doubt stop me.

I stop wasting time thinking about the actions I “should” be taking. I knew I needed help. Have you ever felt that way? Feeling so overwhelmed and burdened that you wished someone could just show you the next step. Show you how to break down each week’s tasks to meet your goal?

Have you ever felt that way? Feeling so overwhelmed and burdened that you wished someone could just show you the next step. Show you how to break down each week’s tasks to meet your goal?

That’s what a coach does for you and it can be in any area of life!!

Whether it’s a business coach, a visibility coach, a health coach, life coach, or mind/body, accountability coach. We each have our areas of expertise with one common purpose, to serve. To help you get from where you are now to where you want to be. A person to provide tools for success and be there for you, to break down actionable steps each week toward your goal. Someone to supply much-needed accountability and encouragement along the way.

I’ve really liked investing in people who’ve been where I’ve been and who reach out for help themselves along on their journey. A person who’s always learning and continues to explore ways to expand. A coach who enjoys sharing and teaching from their own experiences.

Personal growth happens when we desire to change and decide to take inspired action to make that change happen.

Now it’s my turn to help you! My purpose as a mind-body, accountability coach is to help you work through any blocks you may be experiencing. We’ll work together to shift your thought patterns, align your self-care priorities, create healthy habits to integrate into your daily routine and guide you toward identifying and living your passions in life so you can be your most authentic self!

Ladies are you:

  • Considering ways to add positive energy in your life?
  • Looking for ways to reduce stress and breathe deeply?
  • A mother of children growing older and not sure what to do with the time on your hands?
  • Working all the time and not sure where to begin working on you?
  • Taking care of everyone else around you but not making time for yourself?
  • Noticing a lack of confidence in yourself?
  • Noticing body changes that no longer respond to the things that worked for you before?
  • Are you looking for sustainable habits to improve your quality of life?

Do you:

  • Want to make changes in your lifestyle to help you feel vibrant and full of energy?
  • Wish you felt better than you did in your twenties?
  • Desire more time in your schedule to prioritize yourself and reach your personal goals?
  • Yearn to feel beautiful in your skin?
  • Want to make time to be living your passions and dreams?

Are you ready to take inspired action? If you’re a woman in your late 30’s or beyond and you’ve said yes to any (or many) of the above, I want to help you! Work with me to get from where you are now to where you want to go. I want to help you feel better than you did in your 20’s and stop feeling anything less than your most authentic self!

Connect with me for a FREE 20-minute Discovery Call to see if we’d be a good fit for each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Will I Do With My Life?

What will I do with my life…this is the big question isn’t it? I know it’s the question running through my beautiful daughter’s mind as she embraces leaving high school behind and searching for her future out into the real world. I’m proud she’s ready to make an impact on the world, even if she’s unsure of what direction life will take her.

Shouldn’t we always be striving to live a life full of betterment? I know I’ve asked myself this question time and again: “What will I do with my life?” I know I want to have an impact on people’s lives; to empower, encourage, inspire and excite people into living a life that is true to their heart, their dreams and their passions. Doesn’t matter to me if those I inspire are age 11 or 80, the more the merrier. The thing is, I think we should never stop asking ourselves this question, no matter our age. There’s always possibility of doing anything we put our mind too and searching for a way.

It’s important to strive to define ourselves as we find our place in the world. Maybe take our passions and find a way to make a good living from them; fulfilling the creativity and talent within us and inspiring others to do the same. With any luck, we can create a career worth waking up for each day and never feel like it’s work. A life not only full of memories, but full of people who’s lives we touched along the way.

I want my kids to live a life true to themselves. To really go for their dreams no matter how big, because they’ll never know what they can achieve without reaching for those dreams and trying. Through process of elimination or achievement they get to know themselves just a bit more. With each no, yes, or impossible task that seems out of reach,they begin to realize with each success their potential that lies within. Confidence takes hold. Soon, there are no impossible tasks, there’s only drive, determination and perseverance. Anyone can have this!

I’ve impressed upon my daughters to recognize the options they have in life by the choices they make. The choice to take action;to put energy into the things that fulfill them.

  • To take chances and not give up.
  • To avoid excuses because they only waste precious time.
  • To acknowledge that they will make mistakes and continue to teach them it’s what they learn from those mistakes that will shape who they’ll become.

I’ve encouraged them to embrace their creativity and vision. Those are gifts not everyone has and something the world needs more of! I’ve also encouraged them to not be discouraged when life gets confusing; the answers will come in time. I want them to plan to provide for themselves and not expect anyone else to do that because nothing in life is owed. I teach them too work hard and always look for solutions: create a solution for a problem instead of being the person with the problem. Lastly, never be afraid to be yourself, even of that isn’t the norm; individuality is so much more interesting than conforming to an ideal.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? It’s because far to often we settle. We settle in our careers, in our day to day lives. We become complacent and forget that we have dreams. We lose hope that we’ll ever make those dreams come true or worse, give up on ourselves. We forget to allow ourselves to reach further and far too often allow fear take hold instead of facing it head on.

I know this, because I was doing the same thing in my life until recent years. We lived through a series of life obstacles that changed our course. Without those obstacles, I’d never have developed the courage and insight to become who I am today and do the things I’m most passionate about. I don’t want that to happen to my daughters and I don’t want that to happen to you. I was reminded of these things as I watched this video.

My daughter, Sami created this video titled “The Future” as an expression of where she’s at in her life right now; a high school graduate with her undetermined future ahead of her. I feel it speaks to many of us, even long after high school. Can’t we all relate to figuring out how life’s going to fit together for us? We don’t have to merely exist, but that we can really make something our of our lives if we want too! All we need is the desire and drive to do so. In fact, I believe it’s half the battle!

I’m inspired to share her talent and passion with all of you. It’s not hard to see she has a knack for video editing; she loves the creativity, technicality and artistry of it and has a great eye! I couldn’t be prouder seeing her try something new, following her passion and searching for ways to discover not only an outlet for creativity, but find possible answers for her future.

To follow Sami or to check out more great videos, check out her Instagram link @samilaine3197 or find her on YouTube here. Keep an eye out for this up and comer as she develops her talent, knowledge, focus and direction and figures out how it all fits into her world of video production. I love that she wants to inspire other’s with her work, I know she inspires me every day!!!

This is a fantastic example of reaching for your dream, whatever that may be for you. Go achieve it!

So… what do you want to do with your life? Are you doing what you’re passionate about? There’s good news -it’s never too late to start! You can’t change the past, so learn to let go and work toward what you want in life, the world awaits!

You Are Never Too Old to…..

“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream” C.S. Lewis

Isn’t that the truth!! I’ve spent the last few years really exploring what this quote means to me. Why is it that we reach a certain age and suddenly, we think we are too old to start something new? Obviously, this comes at a time when we are quite aware we are no longer in our twenties, perhaps even saying goodbye to our thirties. Yes, many of us may be parents who have enjoyed watching a decade or so through our children’s eyes.  Or others may think their time has come and gone for their dream because they didn’t act upon it when they were younger; but too old? Really?? What’s stopping you?

What is it that you dream about? What do you want to be doing that you haven’t yet done? Are you wishing for the time or making the time to reach your goal or do the things that resonate in your heart and soul? We are excellent at working, taking care of the house, yard, kids, finances – but are we spending time working on ourselves? What opportunities were missed today from not making the time to sit with a friend, or share a story, take a class, learn something new, or go for our dream? If we are waiting for tomorrow to come, when will it ever be here to write that book, take that class, change that career or start that business you’ve been dreaming of?

I was at the park with friends this week on a super warm 90-degree morning  I was there to try some Parkour movements and get outside my comfort zone. I could have passed because it was too darned hot, or because I was brand new, or because I was too nervous to try: but I didn’t!! I allowed myself one hour to experience something new, challenge my body, mind and even my spirit. It even inspired this post! If I didn’t make time for this new experience, I would have missed out on enjoying a morning outside, great camaraderie, succeeding at something new and a chance to learn a bit more about myself. My biggest struggle was allowing myself to dig in: accept the chance of falling or missing my target. Kind of like what we experience in life; taking that leap of faith toward a goal to fulfill a dream while trusting the unknown. It felt good to step outside that box and take that leap. No matter how old we get, there’s always room for something we love to do or want to try if we just make the time. To find a time, we make the choice to make that time happen!

Writing is one of my dreams. I’ve always loved writing and I’ve visualized myself writing for as many years as I could remember. I’m still exploring what I want to write about, but my why is clear. I want to share with you experiences and circumstances that made a profound impact on my life. I’m sharing my passions and vulnerability;  allowing myself to be open to growth, experience new experiences and see where it takes me. I’m living my life with an appreciation for the nature of all things.Along the journey called my life, I’ve experienced greatness, loss, anger, happiness, excitement, disappointment, fear, and love. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Some of these have come easy, others with a price. Each of them, however, have been gifts. At least, I choose to see them that way. I believe we are who we are for having lived and experienced these life events. It’s with this appreciation that I strive to seek out my dreams. I’m working on leaving my doubt behind and putting myself out there. Stretching, growing and evolving into the future as, ME -no matter what age. The act of following my dreams and reaching for my goal,  pushes me to face fears and get uncomfortable. I know, I  know: no one likes to feel uncomfortable, but I think uncomfortable is essential for growth. I make time in my schedule for these things, I no longer wish for the time.

By carving out time, I’m able to be a much better mother, wife, friend, and business partner. I find it easier keeping up the house, laundry, cooking, caring for the family, and working when I have something to look forward too that I can call my very own. I prioritize my time for things that feed my soul: writing, workouts, walks, yoga, dance, time with friends. I challenge myself with something new from time to keep things interesting or make another dream into reality.  I’m also careful to say no to people and things that may drain my energy or over commit my time. This is my secret for finding my “me” time. Does this mean I never volunteer for parent help at gymnastics or drive on field trips at my daughter’s school? Nope. It just means I choose what works best for me. I choose to make sure I’m not overscheduled to do the things that bring me joy and keep me healthy and feeling my best first, instead of filling my life with “have to’s or should’s”.  (After all, we don’t want to “should” all over ourselves – do we?!)

So I’ll ask …are you making time to seek out your dreams or do you find yourself wishing you have more time to (fill in the blank)?  When I hear the words “wish I had more time” or “I’ll try”, I often wonder, why – why do you not do the thing you love? Why do you not make time happen in your day for the things that bring you happiness? What changes can you make today to get you closer to that goal and make it happen? We are only on this earth for a very short while. Wouldn’t that time be well spent doing what we love and reaching for our dreams, so we can be the best version of ourselves? After all, you are never too old to start!

POWER of POSITIVE THINKING

I’ve experienced many proud parent moments in my life.  As parents we are our kids first teachers and (hopefully) the voice in their heads as they grow. I was so touched to have come across this beautiful display of positive thinking in my daughter’s room, that I wanted to share it with you. I love that she is already focusing on mindfulness at such a young age and what an influence coaches, teachers, and parents have on children! The picture below is what  I came across last week; this week there was a new one.  I then  realized this was Jenna’s visual process for positive mantra reflection.  I was so surprised in her ability to display such powerful motivation for herself and so in love with this idea, I encouraged her to write a post of her own to share about her beautiful chalkboard. I hope it brighten’s your day as it did mine!   A little belief in yourself goes such a long way.

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Hi, I’m Jenna Laine, age 11.                   IMG_1652

I wanted to share with you my thoughts on positive thinking! Recently I’ve made a chalkboard, where I keep good thoughts, quotes, and even ideas. I love positive quotes and use them in gymnastics and my every day life. These thoughts pop into my head when I’m going for a goal.

As a level 5 gymnast, it’s very important to have a positive mind, or you won’t get anywhere. My gymnastics coach always says, if you say “I can’t” or “it’s too hard” it will become like that, so always use positive thinking.

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Being positive is easy; all you have to do is set your mind to it!

Being positive helps me achieve my goals.